I Hate Sex

Regular people: “Well, you probably never had it”

Me: (sarcasm) “Shit, what gave it away!?”Let’s get this road on the show!

The biggest thing I hate about sex is that it’s so overhyped that it’s practically in everything but it’s so restrictive at the same time.

If you’re a man and you don’t have sex, you’re worthy of ridicule but if you’re a woman and you don’t have sex, you’re practically the most pure thing on the planet…but you need to be deflowered immediately.

Then should you have sex, if you’re a male, ¬†you’re just an awesome human being (or congratulations, you’re regular) but if you’re a woman that has sex, you’re a “slut” that has a sexual appetite that needs to be quelled.

By the way, if someone has sex with someone of the same gender or a person that’s not attractive by society’s standards (like maybe too old/fat/some other bullshit excuse), welcome to getting ridiculed again.

But we’re supposed to bring sex up a lot anyway to keep it relevant because “it’s nature”.

I mean, so is going to the bathroom but you don’t hear any songs glorifying vomiting. There’s not a lot of TV shows where popping a zit is the big climax.

I hear those things are pretty natural too.

Now before we go any further, I’m gonna just spoil it for you, I’m 28 years old, I’m a virgin, I’m ugly, fat, short, black, down on my luck and probably the one guy in the entire planet that women have no intention on ever wanting to look at narytheless, have sex with. It’s not low self esteem, I’ve just crossed that bridge, I’ve accepted it, I’m over it.

No, I don’t masturbate because all that would do is remind me that I’m probably the only guy in the world that’s single.

With that being said, I hate how the movie industry pressures sex but I also hate how it’s gotten so normal to just talk about it that people just don’t care much about modesty anymore.

When I was a kid, I thought sex was an act of passion between two people that love each other and have for a while.

Nowadays I see it as a result of a primal urge to satisfy yourself at the expense of another person. An act of power used to remind someone why you’re always…

on top.


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