This recent election proved a common fact to me that I found myself having to accept again:
I don’t matter.
Here’s why that ain’t a bad thing.
Look, I can accept being a speck of dirt in the big ass universe to a point where being told that I’m a speck of dirt in the big ass universe don’t even phase me.
It’s when I’m told I’m not.
It’s not having low self esteem when I say that I’m in a hopeless situation. That’s just me admitting I have a problem.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting that I have one.
With that being said, the last thing I need to hear when I’m in a situation that I don’t matter in is “hey, you matter”.
Really? I’m suddenly relevant after some odd years of not being relevant?
Listen, if I lose a game, I lost.
If I fail a test, I wasn’t smart that day.
If I cast a vote and my vote lost, that vote DID NOT MATTER (if it did, tell me how).
I’ve taken so many losses in my life that I expect to fail.
I expect to mess up.
I expect to learn something to know not to make the same mistake out of my prior ignorance.
Rather than tell me “you matter”, “that’s just how it is” or something like that, just say “better luck next time”, “nice try”, “let’s go get some pizza” but don’t lie to me and tell me that what just happened didn’t happen.
Don’t say “you didn’t lose that game” that I clearly lost because I understand the sentiment and I really appreciate it but I did just lose and I don’t deny my losses.
I fucked up and got something wrong and that’s gonna happen more times than not.
It’s expected, I’m not anywhere near close to perfect (I’m actually a moron, which is probably why I’m not as popular as I want to be) but I make the effort to get better each day, so don’t disqualify my failures.
Treat them as learning experiences, I sure as heck know I did.