Benny Chan’s “Shaolin”

Where the hell was I in 2011 when Benny Chan released this movie!?

So after losing my remote, I was distraught about watching movies again (sue me, I’m an old man and the HDTV without a remote is like a computer without a mouse to me).

Until I remembered that I can watch movies from the digital library that my library provides.

It’s true what Arthur says, having fun isn’t hard when you got a library card.

Either way, I’m going through what the directory has in the “videos” tab and after being disappointed in “Looking for Jackie” (which is deceptively dubbed “Jackie Chan’s Kung Fu Master”, review coming soon), I came across Shaolin.

First off, this was FREAKIN’ EPIC FROM BEGINNING TO END!

I’m a sucker for awesome martial arts fight scenes and when a movie features Jackie Chan, you know that there’s gonna be a bunch-a that in there from everyone.

The plot features a warlord that becomes a monk after a devastating betrayal.

The betrayal results in a new warlord who’s just as damaged as the former which results in a lot of murders.

Cue epic fights and a freakin’ war at a Shaolin temple and a plot that had me almost crying a whole lot.

The thing that kept me entertained was that they seem to never steer from the plot, this was one of the few action movies where there was no diversion, no surprise sex (sex that just sorta happens for no reason), no split into something else while the story was going on.┬áIt was just simply, “Main character ain’t dead, main character has to save the temple”.

It’s also a movie about Shaolin monks so there was a few lines that made me think.

Like there’s this one scene where Jackie’s character, a cook, is lamenting the fact that he’s useless outside the temple. The Abbot of the Temple then asks him “okay, which one is more useful, a piece of gold or mud?”, cook says “gold” until Abbot switches it up and be like “but what about to a seed?”.

Bruh, that scene almost led me to enlightenment.

I can’t lie, I came THIS close to crying my eyes out like a few times watching this.

I mean, this is one of the few movies I genuinely like and would probably watch more than once (I normally don’t rewatch movies because I either never have time or the movies I want to rewatch are almost always unobtainable…or because my ADD makes me go to sleep halfway through). Ten outta ten because of the badass action, the super emotional plot, the overall product just looked great and the music was on point, bro!

I’m not telling you to like it either, I’m just saying I did.

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