Valentine’s Day

Or as some people call it, Single Awareness Day.

As long as I’ve realized that I was going to be single for the rest of my life, I knew that couples were going to be the bane of my existence.

Now, initially, I hated couples because of jealousy.

And I’ll admit that at one time, I hated how they could find each other and I have no chance.

That hatred soon evolved into a genuine curiosity and rather than despising them, I started to study them as a nature enthusiast studies animals and I started to see a pattern such as the guy having a really bloated ego, the girl having to remind people that she’s not just his satellite and both of them having to fight off potential suitors hoping to split them apart and/or date one of them.

Now, mind you, this is just from information I gathered from some of the couples I saw in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and I’ll be the first to admit that Baton Rouge is pretty much what happens when you put a lot of dumb people in one city and tell half of them they aren’t as dumb as the other half.

Either way, couples have proven to be insufferable and Valentine’s Day is mostly considered to be their holiday where apparently, they have to remind everyone that they’ve been having sex for the entire year prior.

Mind you, I don’t actually hate Valentine’s Day, it’s a chance for people to celebrate love but since it’s America, the only type of love out there is the one where a penis goes into something because caring about people is supposedly unreal or something. Louisiana’s got a lot of Republicans in it so that’s the lesson you’re kinda taught.

What bums me out is that this holiday with all it’s good intentions seem to be a chance for couples to further mock people that aren’t in relationships what with the humble sexual bragging and the borderline endless kiss pictures on social media complete with the paragraphs upon paragraphs of how great their significant other is. It’s not really sickening as much as it hurts people that feel like they’re ready for love (not me) and just can’t obtain it.

I think that now’s probably a great time to start explaining that there’s more than one type ¬†of love instead of just sex because now we’re getting people to believe and perpetuate that in order to be in love with someone, you gotta fuck them before the first week is over (as per every movie tells you).

But yeah, I made like three memes about Valentine’s Day earlier I may show them later on or something.

I forgot what I was talking about.



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