Life Update: Pretty sure I’m dying either this or next year.

Y’see, here’s the thing…

As I may have mentioned before, I relocated to California to live with my cousin around January and after three months, managed to rack up two jobs. So between January and April, I wasn’t earning money.

Fast forward about two weeks after that, he buys a car for me…well, not really buy a car but pressures me to buy a car after we go to a dealership to get his vehicle examined. He pays the down payment and on top of paying the car note and the car insurance, I had to pay him back for the down payment. Altogether this is maybe about $1050/month ($300 to him, $600 to the car note, $150 for car insurance).

My two jobs are washing dishes at the Navy base and Little Caesar’s and because my manager at Little Caesar’s is such a good person, she shortens my hours so I can work both jobs with no overlap.

It’s September and I’ve been working since April to try to pay off the car ($9,300 left), so less than six months of working, I’ve managed to put $3,200 into the car on top of giving him his money he’s owed.

Five months.

Now on the ride here, he’s made it very clear that he’s aiming to get a better house than the three bedroom, two bathroom place he has already but I didn’t suspect that he was trying to sell his house this soon.

So after weeks of telling me that I have ’til December to get my shit together so I don’t end up homeless when he decides to kick me out (sell the house, I guess), he’s telling me today (on my day off) that I just may have less time than that.

Mind you, I don’t earn enough to pay for car insurance, car note, my phone, school, food and gas and now I have to find a way to pay for all that as well as rent and utilities.

The thing is, I’m pretty good at handling money so after calculating, if I manage to keep both jobs, I have a legit year from last month to fully pay off the car and that’s if nothing else pops up.

Which is why I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die soon.

Sleeping in the car isn’t the problem, it’s the part where I have to keep the car intact until I pay it off that I’m concerned about which means I’m gonna have to be extra careful driving because it’s easy to get into a wreck and hard to recover from it.

Like, I’m actually on the verge of doing everything correctly despite adversity and every time that happens, something goes wrong.

Like, I got into my first wreck after I finally earned enough money to survive off of to get an apartment so all that apartment money had to go to a new car (my second vehicle) which wasn’t in the best shape either.

That wreck should have killed me but instead it just totaled my car.

So here I am, years later, similar situation that’s balanced out by possible homelessness and I’m on the verge of getting another job (may have to quit Little Caesar’s) and I’m pretty sure that something is going to happen to me when I get close to paying off this car which will probably be around next year.

I think what hurts the worst about this is that my cousin is deeply convinced that he’s absolutely not kicking me out after I explained to him exactly how I’m going to be sleeping in my car once I leave because apartments are expensive and I can’t pay for everything at once with a job that only gives me roughly between $600-$800/m.

I mean, my cousin is simply pulling off the whole “I dunno what you gonna do but I’m getting rid of this house”.

Which doesn’t make sense since he hasn’t finished paying off on it yet so all this is gonna do is just make him continue paying for another house.


I don’t want to beg for a place to live but it’s really starting to hurt knowing that I will since I don’t really know people here in California other than my co-workers and a lot of them aren’t exactly doing so hot either.

I mean, I’m aware of the long road ahead and I’m ready to take it but if I die like in a car accident or something, just know that I called it right here already.


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