Tag Archives: Life

Life Update: A little bit better but a whole lot worse

So, I got hit with two crushing blows.

One of which was I was on speaking terms with an old high school crush who was still hung up on her ex. I finally had enough of her telling me about it and I just made it very clear that neither me, nor any guy, is gonna care about her ex. I think what really set me off was how she was trying to make it seem like I was a much worse person than her ex was and when I suggested she stopped interacting with him, she asked me “why” as if she didn’t just prepare an entire essay of grievances of her ex for me to listen to because she can’t stand to not be around him.

Needless to say, I expressed my frustration on a public scale and she hasn’t taken too kindly to that, so she just made it very clear that there would never be an “us”. I’m pretty sure it’s just because I don’t look like her ex, though.

But that was maybe a week ago.

Nowadays, I’ve just been working my two low paying jobs just so I can try to pay off this car I kinda got tricked into getting and I’d like to think I’ve been doing a good job at it. However, I’ve been living with my cousin since January and he, like most folks, is ready to get rid of me.

Now, I’m aware that I’m not the best guest, I leave hair everywhere after I shower, I also haven’t been able to buy groceries because I’m not trying to waste any gas before going to work, a habit I’ve been practicing every day since I got the jobs in April.

That’s right, April.

I was looking for work three months before getting these jobs and I did everything he said up ’til that point.

I’ve been here since January and I technically just got these jobs around April-May and according to my cousin, earning $1,200/m is just enough to pay for car note, car insurance, rent, utilities, school, phone, food, gas and paying him back with just enough for me to save over.

What’s depressing me is how by this logic, I technically have five months to pay $11,200 for the car before I’m out on the street and I have no clue how I’m gonna do that. I just did the math and the money rounds off to $2,240/m which is a whole lot less than what I make.

Thankfully I’m taking classes on IT and doing just okay enough to be able to fake like I know a little bit about computers.

It’s just fucked up that after seeing me suffer, he’s willing to just brush that off just so he can push me out into a shitstorm and say “you’ll be fine” while doing so.

I’m mad because I’m not gonna be fine, this isn’t some negative thinking I’m putting on myself, this is an actual problem. He’s kicking me out with practically nothing. I mean, I’m driving around in a car I don’t own and in his mind, he’s practically saying “ay man, you got a car”…I don’t. That car isn’t mine until I pay the $11,200 I owe on it which means that should I skimp on a payment, the bank can take the car back and spike my credit so I’ll be impoverished and immobile in a place where I know no one in.

This decision has the takings to be a complete disaster and all while I’m trying to be responsible and get my life back on track with the two jobs and going to school.

The more I look at it, the more I realize that this sorta upcoming misery is meant to happen to me, though.

I’m just happy I’m not a dad.

Life Update: “It’s Spring Break?”

So, as it’s already known right now, I’m living with my cousin in California while trying to get a combination of my life back on track with a fresh new start.

Continue reading Life Update: “It’s Spring Break?”

Life Update

So in order to compensate for not getting a job as quickly as I want to, I’ve decided to get an internet certification.

I’m thinking of doing some volunteering too.

My biggest problem is driving my cousins’ car in order to get places.

Ever since the wreck of my first car, I’ve been only slightly skittish about driving. I mean, I can drive and I’ve driven his vehicle a few times already while being here in California but I’ve always driven slow (not too slow) and carefully compared to my people in Louisiana.

My cousin, however has been pretty cool about letting me live here and has made it pretty clear that if I need the vehicle (he has two), I’m welcome to use it to get myself on track around here but I’m still like “I DON’T want to wreck this vehicle”. The way I see, I haven’t, so I’m doing a good job.

Because the job fountain has been looking pretty dry, I decided to do the one thing I’m sure all Californians have done at one point and whore myself to the film industry.

Well, not really “whore” but call a few up and ask questions mostly.

I always thought agencies cost money to use but according to these select few, it’s as easy as giving them a headshot, an email, a resume and letting them work their magic or whatever

Now, I’m no fool, I know that the acting business is shallow as fuck so there’s probably no chance of me actually getting into a movie or anything like that but the idea is to at least fail while trying so I can add that into the list of “shit I attempted but got cut short on”. Just a few more bricks until I’ve finished my fortress of failure, y’know?

On the positive note, I’ve been having more conversations with my old classmate, if the name “Baranco” mean anything to you, you know who I’m talking about.

I feel a bit special because we were friends in High School and she’s the reclusive type. Every so often she’d call me up and stuff, really brightens my day knowing that she’s still alive (a couple of people from my school year are dead).

On the good foot, I like to think I’m doing well in school, it’s an IT course and I know just enough about computers to make sense of some of it and some things did stick during the Lynda courses I was taking.

Only problem is that the class I’m in is about hardware, not software, so I’m kinda up shit creek.

Welp, challenge accepted, much.

If you’re still reading, I’m still writing.

Love and Peace, yo.